I loved my phone ! It didn’t deserve the ending it received. In fact; there was nothing really wrong with it’s function. My Go-phone was serving it’s purpose as a reliable information and communication tool. Why did it have to die ? Where were the phone gods ? Could this; and many similar tragedies, be stopped ? Before you read on, be warned the content below is very graphic in detail !
It all began on a grey and overcast day in November of 2012. Short on cash and recently separated from my wife, I needed a way to communicate with others. So off I toddled off to Wally world in search of the big bargain in the electronics aisle. I was hunting a cheap cell phone ha ha ha ha ha (gotta laugh like Elmer Fudd ). A pre-paid phone was not what I wanted, but rather all I could afford at the time. Phone plans were too expensive for me and to buy a smart-phone to go with it was not an option. Then I saw the Blackberry imitation pay as you go phone. A Go-phone from AT&T for only $29.95 plus applicable sales tax. I could not pass up that poor man’s deal and the monthly fee was a manageable $50 for unlimited talk, text, and web. I was sold and for less than $100. Woo hoo, I had a semi-smart phone now ! And, I could probably pass it off as an older model Blackberry. Oh I was so in the big time.
My frustration began immediately. I was never told that expanding the memory would allow more functions on the device. Also, the screen was so small my bifocal glasses needed magnifiers to see the tiny pictures. There was now way to make anything larger to see what it was. Often I would click and like things just based on friends comments. You needed a rock steady hand to get a crisp clear picture. Quite the trick for this old goat. I would often prop myself up and take a snipers pose. Holding my breath as I squeezed the photo button slowly so as not to move a millimeter. Three minutes later; if I was lucky, the picture might be on my facebook page. Aggravating me even more was the lack of ringtones and apps. My friends had cool sounds. Why can’t I have a cool sounding cellular device ?
After almost a year with the reliable but slow phone, I was beginning to see a need for a serious upgrade. My fiance didn’t agree with my assessment of the phone situation at the time. No money for a fancy smart phone and the contracts are ridiculous was always her response. Well, we happened to go camping after a particularly long and stressful week. I wanted to just sit and relax by the campfire. Wait for the story, don’t jump ahead yet.
Friday was chock full of chores. We reached our destination around 4 o’clock in the afternoon. There was a fall like chill in the air and rain was in the forecast. Unloading the car once we arrived at the campground took forever. Sorting thru bags and boxes, stuffing closets, and packing drawers was the first order of business. Then the leaves needed to be bagged from around our weekend retreat area. Off to the shower at 8pm and by 9pm my eyes were permanently shut for the night. I was exhausted and burned out. No playing on my phone this night.
Saturday came at the crack of dawn. Our youngest was bouncing off the ceiling at 5:30am. He was filled with excitement to be camping. All his friends were going to be there. So he decided we all needed to wake up and share his enthusiasm. No coffee, too much noise, and the sun was barely up. It was going to be one of those days. The kind that you want to forget, the one you really want to hit the reset button on, the day that pisses you off as soon as it begins. Yes sir, one of those days.
We were busy all day cleaning up the camper and site. No rest for the weary all day. That evening we went to a friend’s social gathering. Still being wound up and very miserable; I decided to leave the phone behind as I knew it would get me into trouble. I was in need of a cell phone fix. Withdrawal was setting in. The tremors in my hands were a direct result of cell phone withdrawal. But alas, my phone sat idle as I threw my temper tantrum about not being able to play with it. My mood was becoming a ticking time bomb. Nitro glycerine in the flesh and I did not like being shook up. The evening ended after what seemed like days of torture. Again we went straight to bed and the little Blackberry imposter sat idle on the nightstand.
Sunday began with a morning campfire and breakfast on the grill. Eggs, toast, and bacon with a good cup of coffee were a very good beginning to a chilly morning. The fire was throwing some warmth as we began to clean up and close the camper for the season. I decided to check my phone updates while taking a smoke break from the chores. That was my fiancees’ cue to start in about how much I play with my phone.
Keep in mind her phone was glued to her hand all weekend. Mine sat idle for two days and I was just seeing if I had any important business messages. Well I blew up! Ten tons of tnt just exploded in my head. With eyes bulging from the explosion in my head, I wound up like a major league pitcher throwing a fast ball. That poor phone flew 50 feet at 100 miles per hour. Straight into the blazing white hot coals of the fire pit. A perfect pitch that I will never be able to duplicate. No hope for a quick recovery of the doomed device. After maybe one minute, the battery exploded sending the phones melted carcus sailing through the air. The destroyed case hit the camper next to ours and started a pile of leaves on fire. I was now putting out a wildfire created by the death of my beloved cellphone.
There is a lesson here. Never throw your phone into a fire. They explode and are costly to replace. My fiancee blew up on me as well. The weekend was a disaster.
Now if you know me, I showed my fiancee who was boss. I bought a Galaxy SIII and now I am cashless. I showed her who is in charge. Didn’t I ?
Thanks for reading my story !
Troy Lied.